I haven’t been writing here for many reasons. Mostly because I’ve been happily in love and I was content to just exist in that love and not write about it. And then for a time I was sad but I didn’t want to confess my sadness, so I buried it, until it could find me again, which it did. It always does as you can’t bury things like that.
The last time I really wanted to write (other than every second of my life) but write for proclamations sake, to share with the world, was a few weeks back—or was it months—in regards to my love. I write about him a lot I know, but not nearly as much as I could, because I’ve never wanted to be a smug bastard. You know the kind.
At any rate, we were lying in bed cuddling and watching The Office, our nightly ritual, my boyfriend snug against my back as the big spoon, when he casually said,
“You farted on me in your sleep last night.”
“What?” I said in disbelief, instantly berating my sleeping self for letting one go like that. I then apologized profusely feeling mortified.
He laughed and snuggled me tighter, saying, “don’t be sorry, it was adorable.”
I farted on my boyfriends leg while sleeping and he thought it was adorable. Adorable. This is love I thought. I have finally reached the warmest and most secure part of love: When you finally fart on your boyfriends leg unknowingly and he doesn’t screech in horror and you don’t turn fifty shades of red when you find out and want to leave him because he now knows you’re human. And when you instead cuddle a little closer admitting to yourself that you already knew it was love because you shaved your legs 2 days ago, okay 5, fine 7 and still he wants to touch you. And then weeks later when you leave Nair on your upper lip for too long and scorch your skin off and there is no way to hide the hideous burn which is growing somehow into what looks like a degenerating brown mole and getting worse by the day seemingly like it could only be seen as a Herpes outbreak and your boyfriend very concerned asks you what on earth happened to your upper lip and there’s no reasoning, you have to confess and he just laughs and doesn’t judge while the rest of the world most certainly does, yes, that is when love is comfortable and good and right.
And I wanted to share. I wanted to share with the world that I farted on my boyfriends leg, because it meant something! It was the place I always wanted to be in a relationship and I had gotten there. Well not the farting part, but despite the fart, the staying part, the commitment part. The you can show your most unattractive, unappealing self to another person and they stay part!
Isn’t that love? It is. It truly is, though there is more to it than that and that’s a story for another day, but today, today I just wanted to say, by golly it’s been good. It’s been real good with you kid.